also baby, happy early birthday

not sure if I will have the time or mood to blog again this year so

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BLOG!! MUAH(ew)

thank you for always being there to hear me rant...especially when I can't find anywhere else to dump my thoughts

Twitter can only satisfy for so long y'know

goodbye 2016

Thanks for the opportunity to stand up stronger. I swayed a little (okay, a lot) but I had strong support from my family.
Thank you for revealing to me that I should always follow my heart. In choosing friends, in making decisions for myself. As long as I think before I act, it will turn out ok. Well, mostly okay.
Thank you for teaching me the art of smiling even though I felt like shit. The hospitality industry is a great way to learn that on the job lol
Thank you for the random late nights, and random no sleep nights
For friends who invite and include me in their plans
For showing me that not all I think are friends are actually friends
For encouraging me to be as truthful as possible
For showing me multiple paths
For Amate's friendship. I wish I spoke to him more this year now
For knowing Yaakob's stories. I wish I knew him better.

You, oh 2016, have played the part of being the channel for me to recover. And recover I did. But at the same time you keep throwing tragedies in my face, as if constantly testing me. I am still shook. But I think I'm okay. Maybe.


Thanks for the memories. Even though they weren't so great.

As usual, how we ending our 2016?

Well

Bad news first la kan.

Amate is gone

He was one Nigerian I was proud to say I know him. Not "know" him. But I can say yeah I know him. We're coursemates. I see him around. I know which house he lives in. I know that he goes out partying a lot but he doesn't drink and he doesn't smoke. I know that he is very active in the Red Crescent. I know that he has been in Curtin for so long that almost everyone knows him. I know that he has touched the lives of many, many people. 

I know that the boatman who brought them out on the river was unlicensed. so Fuck you for not making them wear life jackets. Maybe my friend would have survived. 

but I also know that Amate would be sad that we are cursing this man for an incident that was probably out of his hands. We don't know, we probably will never know. Please, I'm sorry. but a lot of us are pretty enraged that this has happened. 

We did not want it to be true

We did not want to accept it

We wanted to wake up from the nightmare and see you going "AYYYY"

I'm gona miss your greetings

I'm gona miss your hugs

I'm gona miss have you around in general. You always have something nice to say. Or a joke to crack, even if I don't understand XD

and then there is Yaacob. taken just last night

why? Because some idiot was fighting with his wife and his cousin was like yeh let's hang in town with my parang

who the fuck goes out for the night to hang out and brings a parang?? What world are you in now? Ketara ba kau cari gaduh saja cilaka punya orang

I'm trying to be strong but situations like this just make me wana hurl or curl up in a ball and cry and wail and then run up a wall and just leave me on the floor when I fall

Please. I can't take this anymore. I think I may need another break.

So 2016, thanks for the recovery period. But did you have to end on such a horrible note?

Recap of 2016

Hey baby
It's been a whole year, I know.
Not sure why I took so long to come here. I guess I couldn't bear the thought of writing with my mind in such a mess. But hey, Lets do a nice long proper update before I get to the sad news in the other post.

Jan - Lie around the house and rot. Tried looking for jobs online, last2I just submitted my resume to Rasa Ria. Got a job there for babysitting since December 2015 but you know la, you don't know until you try.

Feb - Didn't get any update or call so decided to try out stringing under akoi at NST. But after CNY Vina called me and offered me to come in and help with the RRRAA which I thought was awesome at the time. Also I get to see how a hotel works from the inside, yay! Started on the 15

March - Not very yay. With basically 1 month to get everything ready on the CSR and the COMMs side, I think I nearly collapsed under the sheer stress I was hoping to avoid during my semester break. but sokay la, good experience. Started thinking a lot about how life works

April - Brain nearly imploded on me a few times but okay la I made it through. Moved to COMMs after weeks with Saput to get her familiar with the stuff.

May June July - Basically a blur. Became well acquainted with most of the departments, had lunch many times with HR and IT and Reno, occasionally the other members in the Sales team, and sometimes I even eat with FIN. Nice people, though some a little less than others.
(I find that I can't click with these people. IT + Reno ada ok sikit la but these people, they have a bond with each other. I can't seem to bond with anyone.)
Took part in the inter department futsal, not bad bahh we got 4th HAHAHA. Also took part in Dragon Boat racing. My body never felt better. Sore, but it has been a while since most of those muscles felt used. The last time I think probs Shorinji (2011???)

Aug Sept - Ended my contract, and went back to Curtin. Yes I enjoyed going "surprise bitchess I'm still here!" until I realised how sad that actually sounded then I stopped. Also I stopped signing up for events. no money and no interest

Oct - Remembered Aunty Anne.

Nov - PULANG!! Also I realised I was holding a grude against Amir(CYA) but he deserves it

Dec - Started the contract at RRR again. I cannot determine whether I'm glad to be back or whether I'm just looking forward to the money.