Tomorrow, Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Tomorrow, Tomorrow and Tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

The beginning of a poem I learned what seems a lifetime ago but still stuck with me all these years. A quick google search led me here

 A poem by William Shakespeare, spoken by the character Macbeth

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Discovering that I may or may not be having an ongoing existential crisis has made me do a lot of reflecting in between work loads and trying to plan out the next 3 months

Maybe I am not ready for the responsibility, but then, when will I ever be if I don't try now?

I know one thing is for sure, I definitely can not handle a relationship right now. So much drama

I was right to delay. In the process I learned that I am Ace and might probably take forever to find the right one

God and the universe will lead me to the right one and make my waiting worth it, I just know to be true. I believe in it. I have to

On the bright side, I went through with the jump ship. We're moving to the new office mid August and the only thing I am terrified of right now is facing customers on a bright sunny day during one of the exhibitions

My biggest regret in 2k18 is not asking for a bigger pay when applying to the city hotel. I knew what was coming, I had past experience. and yet I subjected myself to the minimum they offer and let the job get to my emotions and play my mental health

I wouldn't say I regret working there though. I met so many amazing people in the process and found out some truths about myself. Unfortunately in the process I wore my accidentally wore my rage too easily and ran my patience too thin - that is going to take some time to recover :( 

Not sure if I will ever return to corporate but for now I will make the best out of what I have in front of me

When they said blessings in disguise, I never knew it could come in the form of a work place.

9 years, 4 months

These days It's hard to find the time to sit down with a book

Or the motivation to write something for fun

Or just to jot down thoughts

Maybe I should make it a point?

I tried digitally, but I don't want any trace of this blog on a computer that isn't my own

There is a reason I don't publicly announce everytime I post something

Because I am not ready

If someone finds this blog read-worthy, then thank you

I am honoured

But one day, maybe

I will put effort into that IG account I made and do a photo blog

Link that to my Tumblr instead of my personal IG account

and maybe

just maybe

I will feel some sort of accomplishment

Because right now I feel like shit every day and there is no satisfaction gained

also happy birthday baby! I'm sorry for the neglect

2k19 the year for change (if I say it often enough maybe it'll come true)

I know usually it takes about  3 years before I decide on a major change in my life (again) but I don't think I can take it anymore

My curiosity got the better of me and I left that job in Beverly to a pre-opening hotel in the city. It was fine for the first few months and then... it started

The voices in my head (and my heart) reminding me that I had made a vow not to go back to hotel work, especially S&M department

and yet that is exactly where I went

I waited a year to see if things would get better (for me), it didn't. So I made up my mind and I started job hunting again.

Just as I was about to jump for 3k at KL, my previous boss from Beverly offers me a position. Something lands in my lap and I don't take it? Denise, you might be dumb but you aren't that dumb.

To be back in an office with flexible timing, casual wear, and small work force, idk man it sounds like a dream. Plus I might be able to get back some free time to work on some personal stuff again (like reading, writing, and hiking, maybe even trips to the island / beach) 

We'll see how it goes. But let's just say that last year did not end on a good note.

2k19 time to put myself first again