Cheers Marco

Posted this about 5 days after we heard the news. It's about 5 days till the ONE MONTH mark. We all miss you my weird friend. May you be surrounded by adorable doggos wherever you are

"Death isn't funny.

Death is sudden. Death doesn't discriminate. Death doesn't care. Sometimes maybe death will give you a heads up, but one thing is for sure: Death is certain and especially, not funny.

But grief is.

Grief is funny because grief makes you randomly breakdown or have panic attacks when you see something that makes you think and relate to the person you lost. Anything from a cat to a single line of text on a photo
Grief is funny because grief makes you sleepy and tired at midnight but then wakes you up at 3am, making sure you will not be able to go back to sleep until the sun is high up in the sky
Grief is funny because grief keeps you up at night with the many thoughts running through your head, wanting to be let out. Somewhere, anywhere
Grief can bring 3 students who rarely talk about religion to each other suddenly pray together because there is solace in spending time together in the presence of our deity
Grief can bring these same 3 students 10 steps closer to the lecturers they have spent the last few years having classes with. From crashing one of their houses on the night the news was released to having a few drinks with the other (and subsequently being told that we suck at drinking but actually we just had nothing left to say)
Today (well now, yesterday) has been a long and tiring day. I had used up all my tears a couple of nights before so I didn't cry when I said my goodbyes. As I lay the flower on my departed friend, it was all I could do to not run out the way I came in, and then it took more effort to walk out the other way. I didn't notice what cap he had on, I couldn't bring myself to address any of the family members nearby, and I definitely could not handle standing still. I paced in a circle and took deep breaths to steady myself, stopping at random course mates and graduates to either slap their arm or shake it vigorously. Yes they were confused. As more of us Curtinians came back out to comfort each other, I finally caught sight of the other two. I joined the hug and offered tissue, probably the most comforting words I could offer as I kinda suck at consoling
Death isn't funny, but grief sure is."

Death isn't funny, but grief is

I woke up at 2 am about 5 days after I heard about you with that line repeating, over and over in my head.
I reached out to so many people but let's be honest, all I wanted was to hear from you again.
Your irritating fx sounds
Your weird thoughts on the world
Hearing the excited tone in your voice when you start talking about a new show, movie or series that you stumbled upon

I had plans on cutting out some people from my life when this year was over, but instead you have bound us to each other by moral obligation

I haven't stopped thinking about you. And what you meant to us.

I wonder if you are watching us right now, when we break down, can't sleep unless we know we aren't alone, when seeing certain things objects people or animals just makes us stop in our tracks

That dog sized doll I saw reminded me of both Rufus and you. You would love that doll. I'd get that for you for graduation. But a smaller one la, so it doesn't seem odd haha

Death isn't funny, but grief is.