She thinks too much

so while i wait for a certain someones birthday in say i dont know, 30 minutes or so, let me have another go at creative writing.

~~~~

She looked up at the sky and saw fireworks.

Colourful, bright, big.

It was a beautiful sight to behold.

But again for the uptenth time that night, she wished she had someone to share it with.

See, running away from home doesn't necessarily mean one comes from a disrupted family. 

Disrupted school.

Or is a disrupted person. 

Maybe one just wants to be able to get away from it all, for once.

Just... Because.

But now she wishes to go back.

She doesn't know how to though.

She sits there. Alone in her thoughts as the fireworks explode above her head in all their magnificence. 

She sits there alone until day breaks.

She thinks of her life.

Of her past.

Of her future.

Of her present.

She thinks of the reason she ran away 3 days ago.

She thinks of how much money she has left to keep her going before she's broke.

She thinks about life.

About death.

About Heaven and Hell.

She thinks about that cute boy who said hi to her in school.

She thinks of her bestfriend who has been trying to call her but she switched off her phone.

She thinks of her parents who have such a horrible child who likes to run away.

She thinks of her elder brother and sister who probably didn't even realize shes gone.

After thinking so much she decides that THAT was enough.

She thinks too much.

Now all she has to think of now is the way back home.

why am i sick during the holidays

THANK YOU FOR RUINING ALL MY PLANS OF GOING OUT THIS HOLIDAY. I APPRECIATE IT ALOT. THANKS COUGH FLU FEVER.

Uh. this is bloody annoying. 

mental note : NEVER go to tuition without a jacket EVER again.

ANYWAYS. can't wait for brits birthday. hopefully i'll be okay tomorrow. felt quite good today.

i regret not going to kaminya's party. i regret it alot. buutttttttt what to do. sick. my fever was high oh on saturday night. hiish.

THATS WHAT YOU GET YOU BLOODY  GIT FOR NOT BRINGING A JACKET TO TUITION ON TUESDAY.

Surprise party on the 24th august 2011

Due to regrettable circumstances, it has taken me a few days before i could blog about... *cue drumroll.......*

BELS BIRTHDAY!!!!! (24augusttt)

Well. It was on a wednesday. Yahyah. And so lets begin by telling this story from my birthday...

9august
So i woke up, felt normal, went to school, did my bm paper. Heh. Okays. Teacher didnt let them sing so the class no sing for me. XD anyways. I went to the lib, felt alone as usual. And hahaha ohmigoodnes. Bel, kim and redzwan all texted me to turn around and sit with them. Chh. Okay fine. At least they made me feel <3 :p but seriously, i was okeh bah sitting alone. Biasa dy kan. AND THEN AT TUITION THAT NIGHT, =.= before going downstairs to her car, bel threw water on me. Thanks alot bel. I was freezing. I got home and AWW. i gats a cake :3

So now we skipskip OH WEEE HABIS EXCEL! okay so now...

23august
At the lib. I sat alone and then dalton joined me! Haha okaaay? First time evaaah. Okeh then vadee and kim came and sat at a diff table la. As usual. Anyways. I got bored of studying and dalton doesnt look like he was gona stop studying anytime soon so i walked over to vads n kims table. And vadee was like 'lets surprise bel with a party tomorrow! If u no transport u follow me. YOU FOLLOW ME OKAY. ' so i was like okay la. Bel ba. Bro saya. Hahaha okays

24august
wished bel happy birthday and hugged her. After school we poured water all over her. Heh. 
Then i followed vadee to yoyo. Bel thought we went to the lib. Cause my 'mum picking me from lib'. Hahaha anywaysss. Sorry for the lies bel xD
So we got there, changed, and waited. And waited. And waited. 
Then slowly, around starting  2.15, people started coming. Joibi, then kamijan, james, daemon (random friend who tagged along cause he had tui t lintas that night), aristotle, rioan, punie, kim, leng, then fred. 
Kim and leng then near 3 were like mari buy present for bel. I was okay la cause i no gift:( so we went out, the 3 of us. 
Near 3.30 we came back and ASDFGHJKL we hid in the toilet waiting for bel. XD kim went to keep and eye out while me vad leng 'hid' in the toilet. Hahaha well. Kim called and we were like OHMIGOSH MARIMARI BELS HERE AHHHHHHH so we went out la. And i ran ahead and hugged bel from the side la. And tiba2 i saw like soooo many peopleee. (people meaning kids xD)
Sonia was like DENISEEE!!! look here! And i saw the banners that fred made. DAYEMMM. apparently it was also a surprise party for me. Hahaha wow <3 thank you kids and especially vadee. <3
ANYWAYS. altogether, the people there were vad vus leng kim bel fred me joibi kamijan sonia redzwan james ari rioan punie raven roussell carl jonah. Daemon left already by then.

So.. THANKS AGAIN FOR THE SURPRISE BELATED BIRTHDAY PARTY <3 muah i love you guys. And happy belated birthday again bel!! <3 we all love you. 

trying to be creative

Okay so i made this up in the extra one hour i had after i finished up my chem paper 3. This is extended la (duh) Lemme know what you think about it.
(ps : spm making me very emo these days, so faham faham la what i post up these days k? )


She ran. And ran. And ran. She ran like the wind. She ran through the forest. She ran until her legs felt like jelly. And yet she still, ran. Because everytime she stopped, IT's breath would be heard as soon as 2seconds after. She didn't want to be caught, so she ran.
'it will be sunset soon. Then i can transform and be home and be rid of IT. be strong now, just keep running in circles, random patterns. Random patterns...' she thought as she ran.
But she couldnt lose it. With every turning she took, she could never out run it. It was always nearby. Although she could run home and let other people more qualified to deal with it, she didnt want to go home and realize that no one was home. So... She ran.
The woods she ran through was rich in flora and fauna. Birds chirping. Monkeys chattering. Insects singing their songs. Flowers were blooming. Fruits smelled nice. The trees seem taller today. But no. She could not stop to admire them now. Not today.
She turned back one last time to make sure it was still a distance away before  making a sharp left. But when she made the turn, she forgot to watch where she was going. Oops.
The giant root was sticking out of the ground and it tangled her in it. The tree was huge and within seconds she saw it. IT was huge and it looks hungry.
She froze in fear. She couldn't move. It looked at her too. As if contemplating whether chasing her was worth it. Maybe she could probably get -

IT LOUNGED.

She never stood a chance. Her screams were heard throughout the woods. 

When one got close enough, you could see....

THAT SHE WAS LAUGHING

So now she walks back home. With her gigantic furry pet beside her, purring because now he will be fed.  

So sometimes i wonder.
What DO people think of me?
I've come up with a few... My thoughts mostly. But also what i think people mean when they tell me. Like they say...

#1
I am cute.
Seriously? Me? Cute? Chhh. Yalah tu. WHAT about is cute, huh? Iam the among least feminine people in school and u call me CUTE? okayla. Accepted. HAHAHAHA LOOL. moving on
#2
i am annoying.
Oh this i kbow very well. I grew up hearing it. Ugh. Next
#3
I am pretty/hot
HAHAHAHAHAHA I LAUGH. i have very funny friends dont you think?
#4
i am friendly.
Okay THIS i cannot deny. At all. I am pretty friendly. But the people i talk to either continue to remember me or just pretend im not there. That aint coolio. You make people embarrass themselves tryna say hi.
#5
im responsible.
Me? RESPONSIBLE? whaaat. Not enough to be a leader la but enough for me. :3
#6 think to much
Wtf. Its true. :l im like lalala lalala lalala then BAM! kenapasaya?

Anyways. My kneee with the scar to be, HURTS :l
As in my thigh :l

You set my soul alight.

Emery came to the lib. She was like ISNT IT COOL SPM IS NEAR? i was like WTF YOU. IT IS NOT COOL. emeh: hey, i mean like spm is near which means you guys can get it over with soon!

Haha oh emeh <3

Exactly how bel thinks. But yeah. It is a good thing. Finally can get it over with and i can go college hunting. Or or prepare for form6. Possibly intake is in june or something so ima work in the meantime.

Heh. There are TWO paper 3s tomorrow and chem ppr 2&3 on friday. And what am i doing? BLOGGING. FB-ing. PLAYING GAMES. muse is on right now so wheeee i feel so... :3

Oh btw. I scratch my knee today. Doing ninja things. Heh. If it turns into a really cool scar then whooooo :3 but i doubt it. Now its js ugly and kinda painful.

Ps : my ninja activity has got barb wire involved. No i did NOT touch it. Yeaaah.... This is on a need to know basis. And you, dont need to know everything i do in my free time.

And NO. playing futsal does NOT prepare you for climbing over stuff okay. Shorinji does but i havent trained in MONTHS. so yeah.

Hai. So um today ifeel like ranting. Just random ranting. Why or about what, i have no idea. So lets rum the imaginative tap run shall we.

Birds.
Shit alot :l
Dogs too.
And fish.
And cats.
Basically every kind of animal likes to take poop alot. In public. And stink to high heavens. Ugh
Next topic please.

Study.
I was suppose to wake up at 4.20 am today TO STUDY. but noh. I is not able too. Why? Cause i suck. Biology sucks. So here i am. In my bed, blogging at 4.39am cause thats how i roll. Books? Hate me. Especially my school books cause i rarely use em.

Music.
Ahhh. I like this topic. Very general. Very open. It soothes my soul and my stressed mind when i listen to it. If only if only, when i play the guitar i sing well. But i dont. Sighh. Oh well.

Soccer.
I watched soccer the other day. WOAAH SHIZNIT MAN. liverpool was so awesome during first half. Butbut then. Too many yellow cards and fouls and the good players came out real late so... :l twas a tie. Pfft.

Anyways. I should get going. This was fun. I should do this again soon. Just to rant. Hee. Sorry for wasting your time ;)

Knowledge

Good in a way to know my blog is being read by humans ratherthan just the cyber bots. <3
love you readers :D

Anyways. Add maths today. *inhales* wish me luck :O

Young

I think its because i DONT look 17. Thats why my juniours all find it so easy to talk to me. Ehem. I mean ALL THE JUNIORS. from convent, lasalle, stella, all saints,...

Wtf man.

Sorry dude. Im not exactly interested in going out with you.

Ehem scratched that. Not interested in hanging. Meeting yes okay fine. But not hanging.
Haish
Where are my adopted nephew when i need em? XD

8 August 2011

A couple more hours and its gona be my birthday. My. Day. <3
im just staying up to see my wall flooded with the love i never usually get. Sigh. Deep down inside, yes, i am an attention seeker. Probably why i am so weird xD
Anyways. I also wana wish singapore happy independance. Yes. That will be my status at midnight. Hoyeaah :p
I wonder what will happen tomorrow? I am considering bringing extra clothes with TWO (thats right, TWO) extra shirts. Why? Cause there school, then theres library. :O yeaaaah.
I also wonder who will TEXT me happy birthday. Honestly, no one texts me.
No one looks for me.
AT ALL.
unless i post a fascinating status or coment everywhere on people's wallposts and yadayadayada. Whats a girl to do for some attention huh?

Well i should probably go play a game to pass the time. I should really be STUDYING but ngeh. Whateves. Lemme play game now and worry about that horrid bm tomorrow morning when i wake up as an official 17 year old girl.

Dear reader : <3 you for reading my rants :)

Random

OOOOOOH GATS NEW FOLLOWER. hahahahahahhaha why am i so hyped? Anyways

THANKS FOR FOLLOWING EVANYYYLLLL ;)

What am i doing. Spm is like.. THERE

Fudgenits. I forgot what i was suppose to post here. Anyways
Hi
Im depressed.
Why? I dont know
Birthdays i guess bringing me down? Idk
I. Just. Want. Out.
Like WATAFASSSSSSSSSS is wrong with me
Sometimes i think im talking to myself

NO ONE LISTENS.

Except God and my angels. Oh and you wall. Hai wall. I love you so much. Thanks for being there when i need to say profanities i do not want to direct to my angels cause it feels like im insulting them.
*deep breaths now*
Who am i kidding.

No one likes me ba. I know. No need to pretend

Im sorry for being such a mess up. I'll go away now. Good bye
Have fun.

Incestion, not inception.

I dont even know or care if thats a real word xD hahaha anyways.
I belong to this family (as most people know but maybe you dont cause i think i havent blogged about em and i shan't. Okay maybe just not today :p) that is FREAKING INCEST. its.... Well, a long story. Hahaha anyways.
Everybody here, the 'adults', being the six of us plus fred ( fred hasnt officially met every kid yet. YET OKAY) have a sort of background story / sort of jawatan in the family. Okay maybe not a rank but like a label.

Bus : the dad/husband
Budd : wife/ mother of so so many kids.
Beng : brother to vus / suppose to be enggaged to gf bt due to incest it was called off xD
Bil : my sister / the gf that called off enggagement. Hahaha
Beem : my other sister / single mom to ONE child
Me : the trenny. Hahahahahahah but i could be A hermaphrodite. HAHAHAHA
Well i sure am not a pseudohermaphrodite. Or am i? xD

I dont know. I could be anything. All i know is my gender is always a question mark in this family. XD

Anyways. I should TRY studying. Sigh. Excel is on the eighthhhhhh