So... hai.
Been back in KK for about 2 weeks now
yeah im late blogging here.
Heres a few updates before i start my rant for today:
1) Cally got neutured today.
2) Aunty Nanc finally belanja breakfast
3) Seanna has her ears pierced
4) The feeling of depression is so bad, i feel depressed everytime i get my period. i notic okay. before this sem i have never been depressed during my period. pissed la but never depressed.
and to top it off, my parents are questioning why my friends dont pick me up from after our hangouts. (Will continue in rant)
5) Weird guy story (Another tale for another day)
6) Sheryl left curtin. and so did rabo. lol i was kinda expecting this to happen, but i didnt know it would hurt. especialy rabo. i wasnt even that close to him and im actually sad. lol.
anyways, good luck with getting into vet sheryl. vets are awesome people, they deal with animals. :D 7) I got my results back! SCP is 71! hohoho migusta
ok now time for my rant
These parents of mine are asking: Why your friends can bawa hang in town and shit but can never send you back home wan? hah? haiyoh. and they have car some more. they not kesian you take bus meh? eeh next time dont go out with them la if like that. ask them come here to inanam also dont want. next time you stay home la!
First of, let me cry because im so fucking depressed and i dont even know why. usually i can take this crap. i mean, its just a bus. why u so scared? last time when i didnt take it because it was in KOBUSAK you say i should learn. well i have learnt, let me take it. As if la kan taking a bus in kobusak area is any safer than here. ish
Secondly, I want to go too. i want to see them. and if you had let me take my license when i asked for it, you wouldnt have to worry about all this. just the safety of the car.
Thirdly, you have no RIGHT to make fun of my friends. they are MY friends. do you hear me making fun of YOUR friends? hah?? no kan. please la.
you always tell me treat others as how you want to be treated. YOU NEVER GIVE ME THAT :(
i do something right, kana marah. I do something wrong, kana marah. i dont do anything, kana marah. I do EVERYTHING, also kana marah.
Am i doing it wrongly?
Is there something about me that makes you marah me all the time ka? even now when im 18?
I hear parents are always pissed at you until you reach adulthood.
i know its true, cos even THEY complain about THEIR parents.
I dont know if there is a parallel universe out there where they dont get pissed at me, but i would like one day like that.
Great, now im really crying.
urgh
I hate life sometimes. I hate things for no reason. or stupid ones. then i feel stupid and the whole thing becomes stupid and i end up not wanting to feel anything because i feel stupid.
i think i lost part of my faith. Praying doesnt give me that happy feeling anymore. i cry every time i pray because i keep ranting to God. I think he's sick of listening to my rants. my angels too are sick of feeling the depressed aura i give out sometimes.
Sometimes, i wish i could go back to those happy times
when I didnt even know what the word depressed meant.
when people didnt piss me off so easily
when i was tougher mentally. somehow. lol
I should though, right?
I mean ask them to give me a ride back.
I'll chip in for their petrol. I swear.
Urgh but see the thing is, i want to go out ALONE some times and catch a movie, and i cant. :( And i dont do it in miri cause... well, its boring if there if you go out alone. and expensive.
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