Life is still unwritten

Fuck this. Fuck you. Fuck that. Fuck everything
I know its a good thing to hear the negative side of the things you are doing so that you can improve and try things a different way, but man, I think they are getting to me.
I have suddenly lost all hope in making MEA a success. And I am so pissed with myself.
I swear, today I heard twice that people don't trust M.A. because of past experiences with the committee that they don't do a good job, and that they are unreliable etc.etc.
Fuck. This. Shit
I have an insatiable urge to shake each and every one of them and just yell in their faces till they get it through their thick skull: NEW YEAR NEW COMMITTEE OK GIVE US A CHANCE MAN COME ON
But I can't. Why? Because I don't believe that M.A. can change either
We are all lazy by nature. Every once in a while there will be those hardworking people who are like WOW and suddenly we lazy chums are side by side with them and working together for a better future
We have in the top 2 positions 2 very awesome people. But not really change worthy.
See thats the thing about Curtin Mass Comm students. We are a mostly quiet bunch of people, oriented and pretty much content with being behind the scenes. I duno la but I am.
I personally LOVE being behind the scenes. Being (and I quote) the "muscle" of the whole thing (just like BYLC woo! Honestly, I think I have found my calling. I just need a really organized PA and I am good to take on the world!).

Right now, I have accidentally placed myself in a position that I cannot take back. Should have never attended that AGM T.T Anyway
The rest of them have placed me in charge of organizing the MEA exhibition. I swear, I thought Organizing was my thing, they too. But apparently I don't have the brains for it. I simply cannot organize my brain into this. Me and paperwork do not work unless I have something or someone to guide me through it.

Also, I have this gut fear that no one will help me and then boom fail event and boom all my other success organized events will be gone down the drain.
I cannot. I really cannot.
I don't know what to do. And I have this thing where I don't like asking too much of people. Would it be too much if I asked the people who I'm with in 2 other events to help me out? Would it be too much to ask if I get like a lot of people to help and then I have no job and then suddenly I realize there is something I haven't done?

Fuck

I need a drink

Cannot wait till this weekend